So i am posting it again

This is what I wrote Tuesday night, posted it then deleted it, but decided to repost it and later follow it up with new thoughts that I have about integrity so here goes…..

I’ve been thinking, what is integrity?
This thinking (yes I think more than just sport and food) comes down to how annoying it is that I cant be somebody else, why do I have to be me, its boring. I am tired of being Rhi the good girl, but recent events where I stopped thinking and acting like me ended up not too good.
I guess I look at some friends and think why can it be like that? Why can’t I do what they do? What stops me from just getting with any random guy or getting paralytic and do I really want this? No deep down. I don’t so why do I flirt with the idea? Shouldn’t God be enough and shouldn’t I be looking at him? Sometimes I feel so restless and just I don’t know what to do, I just want to run and run, but what from and where too I have no idea.
In the last few months I have come so close to loosing my integrity and becoming a hypocrite and what has stopped me? It was that still small voice. Each time I stand at a crossroads I know hats right I know the best way to take and deep down I want to, so why do I even contemplate the other path>! Take the one night we went out for a mates birthday and we both agreed to try and pull a random guy, she managed and I walked away, I was dancing with a stranger, but then just walked away. I couldn’t go through with the whole thing. May be its because I want so much more, but don’t ever think that it will happen so look around for something that’s temporary, that I think will be good enough or just amuse me for a while, but I know that it will just call me more pain and mistrust.
So you always hear integrity blah blah this and that. I know that my integrity plays some part in my actions so thought I would find out more about it and maybe because my head is just like a ball of wool all tangled over the floor.


Anyway here are some quotes I thought cool:
‘We are all faced with conflicting desires. No one, no matter how spiritual, can avoid the battle. Integrity is the factor that determines which one will prevail. We struggle daily with situations that demand decisions between what we what to do and what we ought to do. Integrity establishes the ground rules for resolving these tensions. It determines who we are and how we will respond before the conflict even appears. Integrity welds what we say, think, and do, into a while person so that permission is never granted for one of these to be out of sync.
[John Maxwell]

The measure of a man’s real character is what he would do if he would never be found out.
[Thomas Macauley]

Integrity is the glue that holds our way of life together. We must constantly strive to keep our integrity intact. When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost.
[Billy Graham]

Its about walking the walk not just spouting stuff out and making yourself look the part. Its ok to struggle, question, be angry and frustrated, to have these doubts and wrestle with issues, but its what you do with it, does it bring you close to God, or do you walk away. Do you stick by what you believe or compromise, at the end of the day what and what is most important to you?
Are you willing to live honestly and uncorrupted (as Emma says) hard in such a corrupt world.
If integrity is matching up what you say with your actions then something's that I won’t do because I think/say you shouldn’t wouldn’t be a problem for someone else to do, because hey think it is ok.


Interesting, it all relates back to our values and belied as and even if we change, do we deep down hold many of these values – even though we may try and distance ourselves from the,… can we ever completely change?

Hebrews 4v12-13
‘For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.’
‘Living a life of integrity means being the same when no ones looking and still sticking to Gods word’ [Emma Edwards: 2006] {I’m in essay mood}

There is a need to be rooted in God and his word to know how to be more like him and to know what integrity is and live life like this!

Anyways there is my little piece, please comment and don’t think any less of mex